I sit here typing to the happy sounds of home renovation, taking potty breaks with a brisk walk to the center of town at the public toilets, (in awe of the mid-Nov. balmy weather God has set aside for the work) and reflecting on the very emotional last several weeks.
Backing up, I mentioned last month that I was going to sozo my body issues.
Well, in the end we dealt with the spirit of misogyny coming against my body and the lie of powerlessness in my emotions. And the dominoes started falling…
Working in the church bubble, I had a powerless mindset concerning my neighbors (described here.) But after feeding on teachings for the last few years that one has to start taking risks to continue growing in faith and to see God move in the lives of others, I started getting hungry. I even asked Nadine to keep me accountable to invite the neighbor mom over before the month ended for added pressure.
Then during my Sozo, the Holy Spirit showed me the connection between my feelings of powerlessness linked to the next door neighbors during my childhood and my current ones. With that healed, the Holy Spirit gave me with an even better plan that would not be so intimidating. So I marched over, knocked on the door, apologized to the dad for not inviting the kids over sooner and invited the mom and kids over for an autumn party on Halloween afternoon. 
I kept it simple – they were at the perfect age to enjoy playtime in my attic at 5, 7 and 9 yrs old. I bought a pumpkin for the 11 yr old boy to transform with an electric drill. Then we had a simple snack time that was completely new for them: mini pumpkin pies (made with the 9 yr old the day before,) popcorn, walnuts to shell and hot apple cider.
Apparently the 7 yr old had been praying every day that I would invite them over, ever since I made a serendipitous connection with them last Easter. So they arrived promptly with bells on, bearing colored Halloween pages. The mom was quiet and simply observed her kids having a ball without interfering. They left the attic spotless and hunted for hidden suckers before leaving. I was smothered with hugs and kisses on their departure and sent them home with the pumpkin to light and put out on their balcony so that we could enjoy it from our bedroom window that night. 
We had to take a photo because it was the first beautiful thing in 8 yrs that we’d ever seen in the courtyard. And just when David was finally ready to snap the picture with a long exposure on a tripod, the tea light burnt out! So I grabbed some matches and a second light and ran out back to re-light it while they were out trick or treating. It was soooo worth it because while the letter A is their family initial, it is also mine, and it felt like a living, breathing thank you note.
Other neighbor encounters have happened in the same time period: the Jehovah’s Witness neighbors across the street have never been too friendly, but I struck up a terribly frustrating conversation with the husband one evening when he was out hanging up the laundry. Turns out his wife had been in the mental hospital since August and he said she was coming home soon for a trial visit, but that there was no such thing as a miracle. I replied that I saw miracles weekly and let him know that I was available if she was interested in seeking more help.
She’s still home several weeks later and I’ve been wondering how to love a little more concretely, knowing that at least he is very wary of non-JWs. For my devotional today, the assignment was to think of an unsaved person and draw them a prophetic picture. I chose this woman and made it in the form of a card with calligraphy and watercolors. I included some chocolates and my cell phone number and popped it in their mailbox with the hope that she will be touched!
And then it was like Jesus wanted to reward me for risking love by loving me back: We actually do have one neighbor couple who actually does act neighborly every time they come out of the house to walk their dog. And one day just recently, they motioned me into their garage and offered me a used leather recliner cloud in perfect condition! Just what my body was craving now that our Salvation Army chair bought 5 yrs ago is no longer comfortable! Aaaaaaahhhhh…
And that brings us to the Paris tragedy on Friday the 13th. Sunday morning we had planned to honor the Richards for all that they brought to our church over the years. I was in charge of filling up a little album during the worship and announcement time with love notes from the church family. But when the band started playing this song, I ran in and warred against the spirit of powerlessness in the face of terrorism by dancing and spinning with Olivia, waving the French flag in the middle of the worship banners and exhorting the church to take this as a unique opportunity to offer God a sacrifice of worship during this time of grief, mocking the enemy with songs of victory! And then we loved on the Richards.
Because in the end, powerful love will always conquer death.
Love, Angela