Though the Notre Dame fire is old news now, I’m going to keep my promise and talk about it this month, since buildings seem to be the theme since my last newsletter.
When the tall spire of Notre Dame cracked and fell over, most of the world was weeping. But my spirit leapt, as I witnessed the dismantling of a “high place” where freemasonry artifacts were stored as a spiritual lightening rod of protection over the church. I have visited the church a few times, and though it is glorious on the outside, the inside felt like a cold, dark tomb. Are you aware that during the Revolution, the goddess of reason was actually erected on the altar of the church and worshiped? There are no records that this act has been repented for by the Catholic leadership, so for me, this fire is one that is cleansing strongholds and prophesying revival fires to come!
As our church has always had an apostolic/prophetic emphasis, another detail about the fire also spoke to us: Here you can read about the statues of the 12 apostles that were removed for cleaning, miraculously timed during the week before the fire.
During this time, our church council was reading the book The Apostolic Church Arising by Chuck Pierce and Robert Heidler, where there is a great image of how the church should operate in a non-hierarchical way as a five-fold ministry described in Ephesians: The evangelist is the one birthing babies, bringing new Christians into the church, but follow-up is not his strong suit. That’s when the pastoral gifting needs to step in to nurture, comfort and protect this baby. (Many churches with a pastoral leader are stuck here.) But the prophet is needed for the next step in a Christian’s growth by giving them a vision and calling out their destinies. Then the teacher is needed to step in and show them how to walk that out practically. The apostle is overseeing the whole process and decides when to launch that person into ministry. And when that assignment goes awry, as it often does, the pastor comes back around to shore you up, the prophet reminds you not to give up on your calling, the teacher clarifies any confusion that came from the experience and the apostle eventually sends him out again.
Our council wears many of those hats at once as we heal, prophecy, and disciple those in church. We are not actively inviting people to our church until the first phase of our renovation is complete, but if we believe revival is coming, we should be getting ready to welcome lots of new babies! So seeing the spire of independence and pride fall, while the apostles were sheltered, was a confirmation to us that we are on the right track. June was a big push month for getting our church ready for inspection. Though I can’t contribute to most of the labor-intensive work, my personal vendetta continues against the invasive knotweed in the parking lot.
We had our own mini fire drama right across the street last month when an empty barn sitting on the back end of our parking lot caught fire. It didn’t even make the local papers, but thank God it happened during the summer months when there are fewer cars vying for parking spots.
Our house project has also really moved forward since my last newsletter: the new roof is on, the facade is painted and the extension is going up! We visit regularly to pray for the contractor, who handles weekly roadblocks with aplomb, as well as protection over the property and the workers and to connect with the neighbors, who are happy to see this eyesore be transformed!
Our final fun news is that in 10 days Le Tour de France is going right through our daily life: Starting at Mulhouse (our closest city), it continues to Bollwiller (our closest train station), Guebwiller (where the church and school are located), Soultz-Haut-Rhin (us) and Buhl (where we are moving to!)
A sizzling summer has started early for Europe – praying for cool breezes!
has been fighting discouragement about his job search this spring, this doesn’t
negate the fact that this is always my favorite time of year and I’ve been
getting lots of encouragement! Let’s
start with 2 special birthday gifts from Jesus last month:
We have a French friend from church who is currently at a helicopter pilot
school in Montreal. Out of the blue, she wrote and asked if I wanted to do
conversational English via Skype with a fellow French student (a 40 yr old
single man) who needed to improve his fluency to pass immigration tests. I
hesitated, wondering if we would have anything in common to talk about. And then
I had a dream that it went really well. So I said yes, and it has turned out to
be a part-time dream job providing pocket money for this season in life, handed
to me on a silver platter!
gift was being able to wear earrings on my birthday night out and the
details are worth telling! My friend Christi had given me a purple hand-me-down
designer dress and my mom had sent my grandmother’s amethyst earrings to
Olivia. Except that she doesn’t have pierced ears. I do, but I haven’t been
able to wear any metal in my ears for the last 20 yrs. But since they were gorgeous and matched the
dress, I prayed for healing, put them on, and wore them all evening
feeling like a princess!! The next day I tried on an old pair of my grandma’s
diamonds, but the burning and swelling was immediate. Time to visit a jeweler
and get to the bottom of this, to see if it’s more than a Cinderella story!
the most encouraging activity has been weekly visits to our future home! The
interior has been gutted, the outside walls re-plastered and the old roof tiles
removed. The debris has been mounting inside and out because large trucks can’t
get into our narrow street to deposit dumpsters. Talk about motivation to pray!
But just today we got city approval to create temporary access via the fenced
and raised county road that our cul-de-sac end butts up against. God is
literally making a way where there was no way! The other beautiful thing is
that the neighbors on our street are incredibly friendly and eager to chat each
time we show up! This has not been our experience in Soultz, so we are ecstatic.
(And my parents also seem to be riding on our breakthrough as they just bought their
new house to downsize to – Yay!)
My Easter also held emotional breakthroughs: I usually have high expectations of myself to make this day special, whether it is by decorating, cooking or having an amazing Sunday school lesson. The trouble was that no one else did and that made it heavy. This being the first Easter since my fatigue set in, my expectations were re-booted. I felt impelled to attend the local mass on Saturday night and cried through most of it, as I simply received. I attended church Sunday morning empty-handed and left the cross bare. No children were in attendance, so there was no worry about how they were engaging with the holiday. Olivia had been sick all week and was just perking back up, so we ate leftovers after church and watched some of our favorite series together while I slow-roasted a leg of lamb for Easter Monday, also a holiday here. We had invited a retired pastoral couple over who had just officially joined our church council and she had an immobilized right shoulder post-surgery. All I had to do was compose some salads and roast some veggies to go with the lamb. I had ordered dessert from our local bakery. It was simple and lovely. That evening Olivia went back to school and I discovered a TV series about the gospels called The Chosen – Incredible!! As we become more aware of the pagan roots of our holiday calendar, it feels good to let the trappings go. Maybe next year I’ll attend a Seder!
Thoughts on Notre Dame next month!
I spent much of February fighting a virus, so God
continues to emphasize my need for a season of rest while He accomplishes
things for me! Let’s start with the Valentine’s Day party as an example:
When I started feeling sick Thursday the 7th, I knew
it was Spirit-led when I had started cutting out hearts in January! In fact, all
of the party details were organized by the time I was bed-ridden, so the only concern
was having the energy to pull it off. God made good use of that week to talk to
me about a lot of things, like “What’s my motivation, esp. if no one shows up?”
That’s when I realized that I had to be doing it for Jesus first and let it go.
He was also talking to Manuela, the pastor’s wife, about my situation (being
attacked for wanting to celebrate brotherly love after my 3-month hiatus in
America) as a highlight of relational issues in our Body that need intercession!
So on Thursday the 14th, David decided the best Valentine he could give me was an afternoon of “gifts of service” on a ladder to lighten the decor load, hanging a dozen garlands 2 days in advance. He also single-handedly hauled over everything from our house that was pink or red and stacked 100 chairs. My coughing fits were louder than any thoughts of romance, but I’d never felt more loved.
Thankfully, Olivia would be home just in time to help
me and another young lady decorate the tables on Friday, while David perfected
the background music playlists and PowerPoint presentation. My tortured lungs
also decided that Olivia would make a great MC for the evening. (Essential oil
capsules recommended by the pharmacist were not a miracle cure…)
Saturday we arrived early for last minute details and waited to see how many would show up. I had planned for 8 tables of 6. We filled 5 tables of 4. And none of my good friends were able to make it, with the exception of Pastor Luc and Manuela. But the ones that did come overcame lots of obstacles to be there and they felt very loved. They brought an abundance of red and pink aperitifs. They expressed appropriate awe when learning that Americans buy 1 billion Valentine cards per year. And they participated wholeheartedly in my original candy heart game. It felt like a cozy home group during the remaining time spent nibbling and sharing around the tables.
I have to say that David, Olivia and I made a really good
team and after their final cheers of thanks, we announced that we were too
tired to clean up. It could wait until the next day. But everyone insisted that
we go on home, while most of them stayed late to do it themselves! All we had to do was come by later and gather
our pile of personal stuff. They also left us a big group thank you note and
all the leftover drinks and chocolates! So the love went both ways that evening…
and I think Jesus enjoyed it too!
On another topic, I have mentioned wanting to write a
children’s book, but though I was motivated, I struggled with the actual content.
But the first draft fell into place easily last month and I am even happier
with my 2nd draft that happened in just a couple of sittings this
month. Self-publishing isn’t an option for me because I want it to be a multi-sensory,
multi-lingual board book. But I’m encouraged to learn that France has a strong
publishing market, that many publishers are actually accepting manuscripts and that
none of them mention the word “agent”!
I believe I’m in the right place to take on this little dream, one step at a
time, as God continues to lead and inspire me.
In the same vein, I started my French Sunday school
blog exactly 2 years ago and posted my final post last September. It wasn’t
until last week that I finally got my first comment from a very complimentary
teacher in Strasbourg. She wanted to use my Lord’s Prayer craft for her
confirmation class, but spotted a typo and wanted help fixing it. My weekly
hits are also slowly climbing – encouraging timing as I start to identify
myself as an author!
The last week of Feb was the best one: my coughing stopped
and I felt well enough to get outside and enjoy some unusually warm, sunny
we finally got an email with an appointment to sign for the house!!
It’s hard to believe that it’s actually going to happen after 15 months of
feeling powerless to move things forward any faster. Luc and Manuela had it
worse: They just lived 9 of those months without a bathroom in their apartment in
the chateau (and I never heard them complain once!) The house was gutted last
week and today we met together to pray over the renovation phase. Tuesday we
will sign the papers and a couple of weeks later, we will meet with the general
Here’s hoping that this is a prophetic sign that our church building will
Resting and trusting, Angela
We couldn’t have asked for better weather during our short, but sweet visit to Indy this month for the funeral. It allowed for a very good turnout and what a joy to see so many people from our distant past all gathered in one place! The ceremony was beautiful and the highlight was definitely David and Olivia singing “Good, Good Father” as a duet.
The other highlight was experiencing Rachel’s first solo artist exposition of her light and sound creations at a local gallery. We helped set up, attended her opening night and then a private live performance with the rest of the family a few days later. At the same time, she’s launching out on her own this year as a freelance designer – Have a look around at her website majuscule.co !
We want to especially thank our friends, Tom and Wendy, for blessing us with their lovely home, a car and a pantry full of food that made this trip so affordable and comfortable!
Back in France, David continues to juggle the regular ministry responsibilities at church and the House of Prayer with the occasional IT job on the side. His participation in the November 11th WWI Armistice commemorative day of intercession with Germans and French stirred his heart again for European reconciliation work. Recently his search for more steady employment has unearthed the real possibility of working in nearby Germany. He just tested at a B1 level and would need to be at a B2 to really survive in a German work context, but it’s a challenge that entices him since this was the language he studied 7 yrs in school. However, a remote job would be less taxing at this season of life, so we’re continuing to pray in the best position for him!
I have been in a real creative flow since my return: editing my children’s book (that my girls will collaborate on,) restoring my mother-in-law’s vintage dolls for display and preparing the first Valentine’s Day party for our church. The goal is to redeem this holiday from the erotic “for lovers only” reputation that it has in France. So I’m making garlands, creating a PowerPoint of the history (400 AD to today) and a game challenging them to translate Brach’s candy conversation hearts. Everyone will bring snacks and we’ll sit in small groups at tables and reflect on 20 questions about spiritual and relational love in our own lives, followed by prayer ministry as desired. I’m kind of excited about it.
All these activities accommodate my lower energy levels, but I’ve also come alongside the new cleaning team at church, as well as babysitting in smaller doses. I’ve also been fasting the news for several months now, replacing it with more prayer and viewing testimonies and the exciting prophecies for 2019. This has given me a real joy boost, especially as our church building and house project are in stagnation mode. I am convinced that a positive and hopeful outlook is spiritual warfare all by itself, especially in today’s world and in French culture in particular!
Happy New Year,
Merry Christmas Everyone,
Ours was a peaceful Christmas for 2 as guests cancelled and Olivia decided to celebrate back in Indy to keep the ties she made last year.
I’ve just been home two weeks (after five weeks with my parents) and we’ll be returning again on Sunday to celebrate David’s father’s life. He left us suddenly but peacefully on Dec. 5th after 2 years in Memory Care at the retirement village. Looking back, we are so glad that we were able to help care for him 2 yrs ago, when he was much more responsive.
Then my mother had heart pains during my first weekend with them and so we spent it in the hospital while she had a heart catheter done; another confrontation with mortality. No surgical intervention was needed, so we happily went ahead with plans to drive the 6 hrs to Scottsdale the following weekend for a Thanksgiving family reunion and 2 weeks of house-hunting. A big thanks to my sis for graciously keeping all of us in her big new house! Unfortunately, my parents didn’t find anything suitable within their budget.
On our return to Las Cruces, they showed me the local retirement village options and we viewed more small homes that were in their price range. The one we fell in love with and put an offer on fell through just before I left. But I had an absolutely delightful visit, getting a daily dose of sunshine, hugs and kisses, good food, old memories and mom’s companionship during our many outings. I had the time to get familiar with my parents’ routines, preferences and limitations, and mainly hang out with seniors. All of that helps me be empathetic as we touch base weekly about their continued search.
At the same time, the trip felt like a real shift: For the first time, I missed speaking French and I wanted to stay in touch with all of our French friends, sending photos to those not on Instagram, so they could meet my family virtually.
The trip also reassured me that David and I are making a good proactive decision to move into a smaller apartment earlier, rather than later. Everyone’s bridge loans have finally been approved and the house-signing should happen in January. By the time the renovations are finished, Olivia should be graduated and out on her own.
And finally our visit with Christiane, described in my last newsletter, was also our last. She passed away mid-Oct. and her beautiful funeral was so well-attended that we had to sit in the tiny narthex. (We were just happy to be there because of our conflicting visa renewal appointment.) I can’t bring myself to delete her string of sweet text messages on my phone, but I also love knowing that she is looking down on us and interceding for France as fervently as she did here on earth. (And we are glad for it – the last terrorist attack in Strasbourg was a little too close to home, as the shooter was killed in Olivia’s suburb.)
Over the Mennonite church entry where Christiane’s service was held, was written Jer. 22:29: Land, land, land, hear the word of the Lord!
Amen! We want to be here when this beautiful land receives the word of the Lord with open arms!
Happy New Year, Angela
I’m walking in my maternal grandparents’ footsteps this fall, caring for the orphans and widows. In this day and age, where most singles and couples live without extended family support, these terms can apply to a wide range of people. And I think that this is one of the main roles of missionaries worldwide: Being financially supported, our time is more available for the needs of others. Kind of like stay-at-home mothers used to be for society. And because “acts of service” continues to be my love language, even with lower energy levels, Jesus makes my day when He puts together connections in serendipitous ways!
Let me share some recent examples in detail:
I had just delivered homemade soup to 2 English-speaking friends: Ben’s wife was out of town and had a sick daughter. Helen struggles with chronic pain and exhaustion and I launder her bedding twice a month. That day she also gave me her duvet to get cleaned. Ma Belle lives close to the laundromat and dry cleaners, so after checking prices and hours, I went by her apt. and no one answered. Looking at my watch, I realized that she would be walking home from a HoP set at church, so I headed that direction, spotted her and pulled over.
Since I had given away all my soup, I asked if she was hungry. She was, and since it was a sunny day, we headed to McDonald’s and had lunch out on the patio. Out of the blue, she asked me if I would help her deal with her chin hairs because her sister told her, without mincing words, that she was ugly. So we decided to go back to my house where I could give her disposable razors and show her how to shave. Her hair was pretty greasy too, so she took me up on a shampoo and trim as well! Happy day – She looked like a new woman! The root of the problem seemed to be a broken water heater (again) and no shampoo, so before taking her home, we stopped at a discount shop and got cleaning supplies, not only for her body, but also for her apt., since she warned me that it wasn’t in very good shape. Others had told her that her kitchen bins were the problem, but she seemed unable to tackle it. I hadn’t come by all summer, so it was time for a visual.
Upon entry, I was dismayed at the state of the kitchen. Despite lack of hot water and clogged sinks overflowing with dishes, we managed to get the floor and trash cans to an acceptable level of clean, (thanks to her bathtub) in about an hour. Her bedroom was heading down the same path, so I gave her a deadline to get on top of it or else I would come do it myself. I simply cannot imagine allowing all my hard work last year to be wasted. Her pride keeps her from asking, and she doesn’t like me working for nothing, but she admits that my occasional interventions really help her.
I’m putting on the pressure because I’m off to visit my parents for the 5 weeks around Thanksgiving and I want to make sure she’s in good shape for the winter before I leave. This brings us to the biggest crux in missionary life – while caring for others, we aren’t around to care for our own parents. In early September, my parents needed my support for the first time, but airfare and soon-to-expire visas don’t make it possible to fly out on a dime. Jesus got them over the hump, but I feel compelled to go out anyway. I think our family was last together in 2004 and I miss them. I’d also like to help my parents find a place closer to my sister before the next emergency. They are 78 and 82, so I don’t think I’m being too hasty.
Another precious moment happened after I had texted Christiane on a Sunday, our friend now in palliative care with lung cancer. I told her we missed her, esp. as she was the most faithful attender of David’s HoP sets and sent her a photo of the latest church wedding (see photo below.) She said that Mitzia, (a real widow) had wanted to come visit her as well, but needed a ride and Manuela (her daughter, our pastor’s wife and part of our house project) was in Israel. Maybe we could bring her on Monday, esp. as it was a Mitzia’s birthday. That was also a day when the intercessor scheduled to minister to Christiane was unavailable, so we could come without tiring her out.
So I called Mitzia Monday morning. She had no plans and invited us over for coffee beforehand. That morning, I also received cash in the mail from my pen pal (who was returning my efforts to contribute to all the gas she used during our vacation together.) So I ran to the florist for flowers for Christiane and to the bakery for some birthday tarts. David agreed to drive and bring his guitar. What a sweet time of sharing and worship we had that came together so easily, falling on a day when I was also rested and had the energy to pull it off. That’s what makes these days even more special – all these “widows” have more bad days than good ones, so I give Jesus all the glory for orchestrating these moments of mutual blessing.
Mitzia’s great grandchildren are the ones I will be living with, and they fit in the “orphan” category when mom needs extra help with babysitting and after school pickups, esp. when Grandma Manuela is out of town. (I’m really starting to feel like a member of the family now!) And we had another “orphan” over for lunch yesterday: “Ling” married into the church family last year (the 20’s wedding). Since then they have moved from the polluted, noisy city of 20 million in Beijing to an isolated Swiss village of 700! During the week, she lives in the school chateau with her husband’s parents (the pastor’s sister) and takes French classes, while her husband works in Switzerland. The last time we crossed paths, she said she missed speaking English and Chinese food. So we had her over and heard her fascinating life story: A rare first born girl who wasn’t aborted and has a brother, whose parents divorced and left her to fend for herself at around 14. Unwilling to conform to the Asian societal mold, she studied in England for a few years and then found her Frenchman when she returned. The quiet strength of his faith and family has brought peace and stability to her, though God is still a foreign concept. We planted more seeds when she asked why were in France.
All the handsome boys at church, who were Rachel’s age when we moved here, have fallen for and modeled a Christ-like love to orphans like her and won them over just before marriage. It is clearly our church’s most successful outreach program! So for Ling, it’s only a matter of time… Here’s Clementine being overwhelmed by Vincent’s vows of unconditional love that we witnessed this month as well.
If any of you are near Scottsdale or Las Cruces next month, let’s try to connect! Looking forward to eating turkey in the sunshine this year!
The summer felt like a long, hot climb, which is something David and I would never choose to do in the natural, but apparently God wanted to give us lots of opportunities to grow in patience and joy in trials! (But watch Paul, Apostle of Christ to put your petty complaints into perspective!)
A month without a living/dining room was pretty constraining, but the room was presentable just in time to host Amanda, our old babysitter from Denver. As a French teacher, she comes through every 5 years or so, but we’d always missed each other till now. And boy, did she pick the perfect weekend: Bastille Day fireworks on Saturday night, a casual church service in the mountains and the French World Cup win on Sunday!
A few weeks of repaving our local streets during the summer heatwave was also taxing: Opening windows for a breeze was out of the question with bulldozers inches away and access to our door and parking was a daily adventure. The narrow sidewalk in front of our house was one of the last sections finished and immigrants were doing all the grunt work. I offered to freshen up their water bottles and gave them a hearty “Merci beaucoup” when the last shovelful of asphalt was applied and they walked off into the sunset.
It was also during this time that we drove 4 hours to see our pastor’s only daughter marry, staying overnight in a B&B that couldn’t even offer us a fan. After a lousy night’s sleep, the temps dropped and the magnificent outdoor setting and ceremony pulled us out of our misery!
Olivia got to experience the heatwave the following week as a key player at her school chum’s wedding: 5 days sweating it out at the bride’s parent’s house with 12 others and 2 bathrooms. Her roles included cleaning a dirty reception hall in advance of decorating, decorating, being a witness for the mandatory civil ceremony, leading worship with a band she’d never played with before, keeping the potluck buffet table full and doing the dishes afterwards. A ventilator kept the hall under 90 degrees, but the candles were still slumping over! Thank God she was joined by a great group of friends who laughed their way through it all. (But we made a mother-daughter pact that if she married in France, she wouldn’t do it in the summer!)
In the meantime, we were apologizing for the heat to more weekend visitors – our old friends and supporters, Tim and Sue, with their friends, came through after their ministry time in Switzerland with Athletes in Action. (The baker on our street just opened up an Airbnb this year to make ends meet. So they were able to stay a few doors down and sleep in air-conditioning – they highly recommend it!) Once visitors were cleared and the temperatures dropped, we painted the woodwork in the salon. And the room is finally starting to look the way I envisioned it!
In my last newsletter, I mentioned that we wouldn’t be vacationing this year, but it seems God always comes through to make sure we celebrate our anniversary! Our American friends, the Byerlys, did a house swap during their summer furlough with the Hinson family from DC and I was their on-call person for any needs. So I did the cat-sitting for a month when the Hinsons traveled to Italy, did an afternoon of babysitting and then house-cleaned at their departure. And they were extremely generous in return. And the couple to whom we gave pre-marital counseling also surprised us with an unexpected big gift! So we booked a cheap flight and flew to Biarritz last week, where we were housed, fed home grown food and generally spoiled to death by Corinne, my pen pal of 40 years. In the end, David was sick most of the week and I caught his bug just before we flew back, so it wasn’t the couple time we had hoped for. But it provided a lot of much-needed girl time, as she is going through a difficult season and really needed a listening ear. Our friendship is becoming more precious with each passing year as she looks to me for more spiritual input into her life.
If you ask David, his “long hot climb” this summer has been applying weekly for jobs. For the first time, he’s experiencing a lot of rejection in an unfamiliar business world, which is pushing him to lean hard on God, rather than his own understanding. Corinne was able to give him insight into the French recruiting mindset, and along with our dear intercessors, I am cheer-leading him on, knowing there is a perfect post waiting for him to find.
On a final, happy note, my chronic fatigue recovery has been less of a climb than I thought it would be. 2 months later, good sleep, extra supplements and mega-vitamins seem to be doing the trick! I also noticed that I felt much less achy in Corinne’s newly built house than I do at home, probably signaling mold sensitivity – another reason to move. At the same time, I have been delivered from all chocolate and sugar cravings, mainly because the side effects are so not worth it!
Ready for fall, Angela
After lots of glorious weather, we’re finally getting a couple of days of rain – no heat waves, fires or lava flows here, thank God, and a good day to write a newsletter while the neighborhood streets go quiet to watch France in the World Cup quarter finals.
Backing up, the biggest event of May was David’s trip home to stay connected to family, while I stayed back to help host a team of 7 middle-schoolers and 3 adults from Bethel Redding Christian school for 10 days. My role with this team was to welcome them from the airport with refreshments, house a mother and daughter and manage the church work day. Because we didn’t have a lot for 14 yr olds to do at church, except pull out the ever-present Japanese knotweed in the parking lot, I came up with some other projects. One was to empty Ma Belle’s basement storage area and the other was to start attacking the ceiling of my living/dining room.
I had spent the entire winter looking at Pinterest photos and imagining how I wanted to decorate our future apt., when suddenly the blackened wallpaper and outdated ceiling paper that I’d lived with for 14 years started screaming at me. At the same time, 2 of our neighbors renovated their facades, giving our corner a huge facelift. Then we got a letter from the mayor saying that our surrounding streets were all going to be repaved this summer - that’s like getting a free, new driveway, for us! God was obviously working hard to give us better street appeal and it upped my motivation to overcome inertia for the interior by updating the living/dining room and kitchen walls.
With my neck issues, ceiling work was out of the question, but I noticed that quarter round had been nailed on both sides of our 6 ceiling beams and that would have to come off first. So that’s what the director of the school and 2 boys did for me in under 2 hours. With that jumpstart, last month I hired the neighbor kids to help me rip the paper off the walls, and then Olivia spent a week scraping the ceiling and helping strip the kitchen paper. David followed by rewiring the room; it had only 2 ancient outlets with exposed wiring. Then when we decided to pull the wainscoting off one wall, we realized we were in over our heads, and we were all tired. I had also thought I was capable of working 3 afternoons stripping and repainting a quarter of the kitchen, after a retiree from church blessed us with a little finishing work. But I ended up in bed for three days with exhaustion and brain fog. It scared us enough to put a name to my gradually worsening symptoms and start treating it:
Chronic fatigue syndrome.
In the meantime, David called in a professional for advice, and miraculously he was able to estimate the work quickly and had men available this week, which allows it to be habitable before our guest arrives next week!
So right now I’m working on Step 1 of my cure from www.endfatigue.com: Get 9 hours of sleep every night. I also got another Sozo to deal with my missionary guilt, among other things. God showed me the smiling faces of some of the hundreds of people I have served over the last 19 years of ministry, whether through teaching, healing, counseling, housing, babysitting or cleaning. It is enough and at 56, I’ve earned a rest. Now I believe it.
So I’m feeling much lighter, giving myself permission to take a real sabbatical from meeting everyone else’s needs. We’ve never been able to take real 2-week vacations like the French do, but I’m hoping the money spent on a new, white living room will get me through this last year here in better shape, especially during the dark winter months. I expect my real renaissance will happen with the move, where we will be enjoying long summer evenings dining al fresco on our terrace instead of inhaling plaster dust behind closed windows to shut out the asphalt rollers and yelling neighbors. Happily, I am cat-sitting this month for friends in a quiet neighborhood with a garden, allowing us an escape and a taste of the future.
This spring we also hosted English prophet Anne Griffith and attended a prophetic arts weekend. The events confirmed that we had served well, but it was time to rest, and for me to start writing the book I’ve dreamed of that will bring about my healing, as well as healing for others, as a new ministry for me that will be life-giving instead of life-draining! Fortunately, our pastor and his wife are all about making sure that we find our God-ordained place now to thrive in this intense season that we are walking through.
So David is still applying for jobs, while mentally pulling back from future church leadership and I have just taught my last Sunday school class. A couple of young ladies agreed to replace me after my formal announcement, but they are looking for reinforcements so that no one has to miss more than 1 Sunday per month, something I was never able to achieve. It’s a struggle to leave a ministry position if we don’t see our replacement lined up, but we have both learned that if it’s time to move on, no one can take your place until you vacate it first! One of the young mothers (who gave me my Sozo session) thanked me for serving and sitting for her children these past 5 years with a couple of lovely outings recently. I’m thrilled that she lives in the village that we will be moving to so that our friendship can deepen.
Let the healing begin!
I’m looking back over my Feb – March calendars in order to find a theme and all I see are first names! It’s pretty obvious that we are focusing on community and relationships right now:
I continued helping Ma Belle weekly through February and I’m pleased to announce that she’s now maintaining her place on her own. The apartment odor hasn’t changed unfortunately, probably because she has 6 large bags of her son’s unwashed clothes still stacked in her salon. After 6 months, I don’t think he’ll be back to retrieve them, but she’s not convinced yet. She still has junk stored in her basement that she is ready to part with, but the stairs are intimidating for both of us. I’m hoping that we can take care of that in May, when some young teens from Bethel Christian School come to visit for a week. Sounds like a perfect missions project for them.
She bought herself a paperback French-English parallel Bible awhile back and I’m not sure why, except maybe because of her affinity for me. I admired it greatly as something I would love to own as well, but couldn’t justify buying when I can get any language on my Bible app for free. What a surprise to unwrap it for my birthday last month! She was given a used, hard back Bible recently, and decided it would be more durable and lighter to carry around. I was touched!
Speaking of my birthday, quality one-on-one time with 8 different girlfriends spread out over 3 weeks is my favorite way to celebrate! David and the kids inundated me with books from my Amazon wish list and Emilie, our boarder, made sure I had a homemade dessert complete with a candle to blow out along with her gift. This relationship has also been a real gift for both of us. She has expressed that our home has been a safe place to heal emotionally and physically, and I love having someone “in house” to correct my written and oral French! We will miss her when she has to move out next month (so that our Americanized Olivia can move back in!)
At church, our discipleship efforts are going well. The young adults chose the adult with whom they wanted to serve and confide in. Mine is a young lady that will be moving back to Paris this summer to be part of a new Christian school project. So I’m not raising up my replacement for Sunday school, unfortunately. David, however, has 2 disciples in the technical department who aren’t going anywhere and the love and respect is mutual. He also just supervised another young man from our church, who spent his internship analyzing our sound needs as part of his studies in audio engineering.
On top of that, no less than 5 couples are marrying from our church this summer and one of them has asked us to do their pre-marital counseling. What a refreshing challenge it will be to spend time with a couple in love, instead of the hurting ones we’ve ministered to in the past. Our first church baby in 4 yrs was just born last month too – a precursor to a big shift coming to our little church’s age demographics! Needless to say, this discipleship thrust feels like God’s perfect timing and forming home groups will probably be the next one. The building renovation work is finally moving forward as well, so it feels like our church is being prepared for the coming harvest. Europe shall be saved!
Our annual 12 hours of worship happened on Easter Sat. this year. I tend to do the prep work in advance, creating spaces for personal encounters and then playing with the kids that attend for a short time. But David is fully engaged with logistical planning AND the entire day of the event between running sound, projecting words, leading a worship team or playing an instrument for other groups. Then on Sunday, he had a wedding to attend, while I manned Sunday school. So it was the first year I didn’t make a big Easter dinner – Emilie had a simple, delicious meal waiting for us when we got home and it felt very good to simply receive. (As an added bonus, Easter Monday is also an official holiday in Alsace!)
In other news, we were disappointed to be turned down for French nationality last week. This means that after David finishes his US taxes this week, and then his French taxes next month, he has to start preparing another dossier to renew our 10 year residence permit. Will he still be able to do this at 67, 77, 87 yrs of age? This is what we were hoping to avoid, but God knows better. Apparently, the government needed to see more French income. Wish they’d told us that up front. And because we will soon lose boarding income and IT freelance work is still sluggish, David is now actively applying for part-time telecommuting work with other companies. (And if he goes with a French company, we may re-apply for nationality again in a few years.)
Happy springtime to all of you, Angela
This month’s letter will be a long one because I want to recount the 2 yr saga of my efforts to obey Jesus’ command to care for “the least of my brothers.” The French are good at caring for the poor physically, as they are housed and fed and have access to job training and full health care. However, their souls and spirits are bound by generational sin, a victim/poverty spirit, and demons of addiction and mental anguish. My efforts to befriend my neighbors have fizzled for some of those very reasons.
Now let me introduce you to a lady I call Ma Belle, a saved member of our congregation. She could check all those boxes, except addictions, but lived in a codependent situation with her son, who was an alcoholic. They have lived in the area their entire lives and are well-known by local churches and social workers. They both have learning disabilities and live more like a street people since they can’t drive and avoid their apt during the day, not letting anyone in.
So besides attending free workshops for retired and mentally handicapped citizens, she started attending most of our House of Prayer sets where she loves to draw. But she was in constant turmoil, always asking for prayer for her son to get help (without being able to set any boundaries,) for her heart condition (which seemed to come and go) or her irrational fears (like being evicted.) Since she still didn’t want anyone to interfere and wasn’t a victim of domestic abuse, all we could do was pray with her to get her through another week, and hope that her son would be removed and that she would let him go.
This is how David and I got to know her better in the last couple of years, often driving her home after evening sets, wondering what she went home to, but relieved to see that she was in a decent little historic building, rather than an ugly high-rise. I was one of the few who greeted her on Sunday mornings and celebrated her birthdays. Then last spring, we started Sozos when she decided to break off an unhealthy relation with a man. With her son still at home, I wasn’t sure it was worth it, but then I decided it might free her of soul ties with both men more quickly. We did 6 sessions over the summer, when she easily forgave every single person in her whole life who had mistreated her.
And that was just about everybody.
When she stopped making progress, I said we needed to wait until her son was out of her life. And to everyone’s amazement, he was accepted into a rehabilitation community at the beginning of Nov. That same week her water heater broke down, but she refused to call a repairman because she was too ashamed to let him in. Everyone told her to call me as the best candidate for help, but it took her 2 weeks without heat to finally surrender. Don’t ask me to do hospital visits; I don’t have the stomach for it. But filth and clutter have no hold on me. The dirtier the job, the more excited I get about changing the atmosphere!
The odor she carries fills the hallway before you’ve opened her door. Inside, all the drawers and shelves were broken and emptied, leaving 3 years of stuff on the floor a foot high. She blamed her son’s violent outbursts for all the damage. Her bedroom was intimidating, but the salon where her son lived was overwhelming. So I started with the easiest and got her entry, bathroom and kitchen floor clear in 3 hours. Now she could let a repairman in.
On the next visit, the apt was warm and the floor was still clear, so I was motivated to keep going and coerced David to change a light socket and unclog her bathroom sink. I got her a hot plate and pot from the church kitchen to heat food since all of her appliances were broken, washed mountains of laundry in vinegar and swapped out her rotten mattress for her son’s, giving her fresh bedding from my attic.
She wasn’t a hoarder and every little advancement made a huge difference. Yet she would still apologize for being a burden to the point of wondering why she was even born. My response was that she was teaching us how to love like Jesus did. I dreamed of having it all done in time for Christmas and started contacting social workers about how to get some help to empty that salon. I also wondered if I could get hired as her personal house keeper in order to earn enough money to take care of some of her needs, as well as mine. In the end, it sounded like I was on my own. I couldn’t hire strangers to clear it out because they wouldn’t be patient with all the sorting and Ma Belle’s potential reactions. And I couldn’t afford it anyway. And while everyone admired me, no one was interested in getting their hands dirty. It was feeling heavy and I needed reassurance that Jesus was going to make this burden light.
Then I looked at my calendar and saw that our missionary care weekend was coming up, (as described in the last newsletter) and David agreed we needed to take advantage of it. I reserved on-line and got a personal message back saying that the other reservations had cancelled and so all the pampering would focus on us! A team was there from the states to take our portrait, cook us a romantic meal, (besides all the others) and give us free counseling sessions!! This was my reward!!
We drove through rain, sleet and snow 3 hrs through the countryside, arriving at night to a darkened village. And it was absolutely surreal to knock on the front door and be warmly welcomed by gushing Americans!! It was a delightful escape that ended on a magical note: The ancient village church wasn’t open that Sunday, so they got the keys and we had an (unheated) English Advent service all to ourselves! Wrapped in blankets, we sang carols and hymns in a cappella that I hadn’t sung since I was a child. God bless the Sutherlin family!
On our return, Ma Belle’s heart started acting up, so my break continued over the holidays and I started talking to the young adults who help me clean the church about this mountain. At the same time, we welcomed Emilie, our pastor’s niece, as our new boarder. (Priscille ended up staying only through Oct.) Emilie’s joyful presence especially brightened up our holiday week without family and relieved financial pressure.
So this month, after 4 more tedious hours, I finally got her bedroom floor completely clear, allowing David and Thibauld, one of our young men, to set up a proper bed frame and repair her broken bedroom furniture. She was so happy that she bought me a gift. A gift I loved.
And Thibauld ended up being the key to conquering the salon. As a mover, he’d seen worse and even had a trailer to haul stuff to the recycling center. So the mountain became a molehill when he along with 4 other volunteers showed up for 3 hours last weekend to get the worst of it into the trailer to haul away. Believe you me, I’m taking it as a prophetic sign for the work still needed for our church building!
David got this verse for 2018: “Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain.” What a great image of our journey with Ma Belle thus far. And even if you never meet her here on earth, you certainly will on the other side, when she will be transformed back into the beautiful woman God created her to be. And I’m sure you’ll recognize her because she’ll be the one that smells the sweetest!
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